Outside my Window
by eldoylerado
Summary: Peter Parker always did like the unconventional methods of entering a bedroom.


**Hello there! I saw the Amazing Spiderman on Saturday, and I must say it was rather amazing. Andrew and Emma were just great, and now I have a mental debate over which Spiderman series I prefer.  
Anyways, I wrote this little one-shot for myself really, as a resolution to the Peter/Gwen mini cliffie they left there for us. **

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Outside my window, the rain was falling, and not lightly at that. I wondered idly if he was out there, swinging from building to building, and if I closed my eyes for only a second, I could feel myself swinging there with him, my arms tight around his neck, and one of his secured around my waist. Catching myself, I shook my head violently, trying to eradicate any such fantasies from distracting me from studying for my Science final.

I tried to focus on memorizing chemical compounds, but didn't make it another five minutes before more distracting thoughts invaded my mind. These ones weren't about Peter though, these were about Daddy. Ever since the funeral three weeks ago, I'd tried to think what exactly was said between him and Peter, and how he could've managed to get Peter to successfully stay away from me.

It was fairly obvious that he didn't want to. I saw the way he looked at me from across the hall; how his eyes bore into the back of my head in English. I tried not to indulge myself in returning looks, but sometimes it was just so hard that I couldn't restrain myself and found myself meeting his gentle eyes with my own. His eyes would hold mine for no longer that a few moments before abruptly breaking away and briskly walking away from me.

And although I was hurt, I mainly felt anger. Neither Peter nor my father had enough respect for me to choose my own fate. Yes, being in love with the Spiderman is probably the most dangerous person to fall in love with, but, let's face it, I rather fancied Peter before I even knew about his alter ego. Still now, I don't think of him as Spiderman, but of Peter Parker, the nerdy kid in class who takes photos of everyone and everything.

Forcing myself back to my science revision, I managed to get two whole pages of questions completed before hearing a small knock at my window. The smile spread across my face before I could stop it. I tried to force it back into a neutral expression before turning around to face him, but I'm sure my mouth was still turned up slightly at the edges when I spun around to see Peter Parker nervously crouching on my balcony.

I was about to give him a quick flick of my head to gesture him to come in, when I realized that this was the closest we've been since I went to visit him after Daddy's funeral. I could feel my cheeks flush a little redder with anger at that thought, but I nodded him in anyway. My window wasn't locked, and hadn't been since the night he had dinner with us, and he decided his preferred entrance to my building was through my window.

Peter opened the window and slipped into my bedroom with ease and looked at me, his eyebrows furrowed and his mouth slightly agape. I kept my eyes on him, walking backwards towards my bed and sitting down on it with a thud. I gestured him to my desk chair, and he obliged.

"Why are you here, Peter?," I asked after about a half minute of uneasy silence. He looked up at me, the furrow in his brows deeper, and his mouth set in a sloped line.

"That night, with your dad," began Peter, as I felt a small stab at my heart at the mention of my deceased father, "he was sitting there, and I will spare you the details, but he was dying. And I knew that, but there was nothing I could think to do to help him." The furrow between his eyes had deepened to one that people might have if they were in pain, or trying to force themselves not to get upset. I felt tears prick the back of my eyes, and I started blinking trying to force them back, knowing it was most likely going to pointless.

"Just right in front of me, and I couldn't do anything to help him. And he knew he was dying too, and his dying wish was for me to not be near you. I wanted to refuse him; I wanted to say 'No, because you see, I'm in love with your daughter,' but of course, I didn't say that. Instead I told him yes, because I couldn't just not refuse an honourable man's dying request.

"But, I've come to the conclusion that this request is not only unreasonable, but impossible. You see Gwen, I actually cannot keep avoiding you because it… it kills me. And you can deny it or whatever, but I can see it hurts you too. And I don't want you hurt, I'd much rather me hurt. But you see, in this instance, we will both get hurt by honouring your father's wish. So, actually, I was hoping that by deeming your father's request as impossible, we could maybe… ignore it and…" he trailed off, allowing me to fill in the gap.

Tears were freely streaming down my face; my heart was thundering in my chest. My hands frantically clawed at my face, trying to get rid of the tears that were staining my face. My eyes slowly came up to meet his, and I saw that his eyes were slightly red-rimmed. I could also see him trying to figure out if coming towards me was a good idea, but evidently, he decided to stay right where he was.

"Peter," I tried to say, but my voice was coming out a lot croakier than I intended. I gave a small cough and continued, "You love me?"

Peter's face was clearly shocked, as if he didn't even remember letting the words slip into his story, but after a few moments he nodded, slowly but surely.

I let that sink in for a moment, crossing and uncrossing my legs. "Why?," I asked after a few minutes.

"Why?" he repeated. "I… well – uh… you remember that day when Flash was trying to make that kid eat the spaghetti off the plate?" I nodded my confirmation. "And then – well – he beat me up pretty good, and in class the only thing you were concerned about was whether or not I was concussed. You're the only one at school who asked me how I was after that. And then when um – after Uncle Ben," he took a deep breath," Uncle Ben died… you offered me a tiny token of comfort, and then after when you invited me to dinner for no real reason.

"Ugh, I'm no good with words, you know that Gwen. I just, yeah, you were the only person who actually treated me as a human at school, and I miss that. I miss having you around to randomly talk to, or to try to beat me in science or… I don't know… just be there. Please Gwen, I'm begging you, and I'm so, so, so sorry, and I don't even expect you to forgive me for being such an asshole, but please start talking to me again."

I wasn't quite sure how to respond to his soliloquy, I was so, so mad at him, but, really, why was I? He'd only been trying to defend the honour of a dying man, and he'd sure tried to keep up his deal of the bargain. I blinked back threatening tears, trying to come up with a response.

"Peter Parker, you're so intelligent, but why are you so stupid? You are a stupid, stupid man for even trying this in the first place. Stupid!," and anything else I tried to say were lost to the sob that racked my entire body. I hadn't really cried much since Daddy died. I'd tried so hard to remain strong for Mom, and my brothers, and I couldn't at school, not with Peter and Flash, or anyone else really, around. And all the build up was finally coming to a head.

I cried, and sobbed and it was barely ten seconds before I felt Peter sit beside me, and envelope me in his arms. I cried into his shirt, not even caring about what he thought of me in this moment. My hands curled into fists at the material at his sides, as I pulled him closer to me. After a while, he pulled me into his lap, rubbing small circles on my back with one hand and playing with my hair with the other. He made no verbal attempt to comfort me, knowing that it probably wouldn't help anyway.

Eventually, the tears subsided and I just sat there in Peter's lap, my face squashed into his shoulder, and his arms folded around me. It was sitting there like that that made me realize that, in the end, I had no choice. I was in love with this amazing, frustrating, dangerous person and there was nothing I could do about it.

"Do you promise not to hurt me again?" I asked in a murmur.

"Yes, yes of course. Not intentionally," he replied almost instantly. Then he suddenly stiffened. "But we can only be friends, Gwen. I mean, yeah I've already given up the information that I love you, but nobody else can know. Not a soul. If anyone was to find out who Spiderman is, you'll be who they target. You. And I cannot let that happen, you hear me?"

My hands clenched tighter around the fabric of his shirt. "No, Peter Parker. I don't think you understand the concept of free will. It's my choice, and I choose you," I said, my voice slightly muffled by his shoulder.

"Gwen –"

"No, shut up."

And with that, I pulled myself away from his shoulder, and gently pressed my lips to his.

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**If there's any mistakes or anything, feel free to let me know. I don't have a Beta, as I like to proofread my own work, but I'm human, y'know.**

**Another note, I don't know whether to turn this into a multi or not. I have a mini plot in my head, no longer than around 8-10 chapters worth, but I don't know about it.**

**Thoughts? (And should I keep as a one-shot or turn it into a multi-chapter?)**


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